Oh good. I don’t think that’d go over very well.
Have you ever considered studying music theory? I know it’s a random thought but you already know so much about it. It’s amazing if you ask me.
Oh you don’t? Why did I think you did? I must be losing my mind. But this is perfect! Makes the day even better.
No. It wouldn’t. Not for them, at least.
Know a lot about music, haven’t a musical bone in my body. I can carry a tune in the shower, I can dance better than half of the school, but if you get me to play an instrument you’ll hear the saddest thing ever. Because I’m horrendous.
Because I said I did. To mess with your head. It was a bad joke. Ba-dum-tss.
No, no I didn’t. That’s an interesting little fact. Wait that doesn’t mean that there will be people grinding everywhere, right? I refuse to be ground on by strangers.
Perfect. I can’t wait. What time do you get off today?
No, people will not be grinding on you when we attend this place. I also highly doubt that, since jazz has developed since then. It’s faster now, swing influenced it quite a bit. But people will not be grinding on you.
Pfft, I don’t work today. What are you talking about?
Can weplease go downtown after work and listen to how jazz has changed in this new age? I can nearly guarantee a good time, some fresh air, and maybe….just maybe a few sweet kisses to repay you for your accompaniment.
Oh, alright. We’ll go.
Did you know that jazz was born in brothels? It was originally music for people to grind to. So you really want to go and listen to music where people were meant to have some form of fornication …
I mean, it’s whatever you’d like to do. Yes, we can go. Obviously we can go.
Maybe?! I don’t waste those sweet words on maybe.
If I give you a definite, then you have to make them all the sweeter, love.
There’s a band playing in town. New age jazz, what ever that is. Either way it’s definitely better than staying trapped in these four walls.
Sounds like someone wants to be taken out.
Ask nicely. Ask sweetly.
And maybe I’ll take you when I’m off work shift.
Let’s play “Never Have I Ever”. Cross out all of the things that you have done. You might just see that there are people just like you out there.
Never have I ever kissed a girl.
- Never have I ever kissed a boy.
Never have I ever received/given a blowjob, hand job, eating out.
Never have I ever had sex.
Never have I ever fallen in love.
Never have I ever cheated on someone.
- Never have I ever been cheated on.
Never have I ever gotten into a fight.
Never have I ever done something illegal.
Never have I ever gotten wasted.
- Never have I ever used an illegal drug.
Never have I ever snuck out.
- Never have I ever stolen something.
- Never have I ever vandalized something.
- Never have I ever lost a family member due to death.
Never have I ever been in a life or death situation.
- Never have I ever been arrested.
- Never have I ever been fired from a job.
Never have I ever been kept up at night due to guilt.
Never have I ever laughed so hard I cried.
- Never have I ever been abused physically.
- Never have I ever cried myself to sleep.
Never have I ever wished that I was someone else.
Never have I ever wanted to kill myself.
- Never have I ever tried to kill myself.
Never have I ever felt like an outcast.
- Never have I ever wanted to do something just so I would fit in.
Never have I ever ruined my friendship with someone.
Never have I ever had a friend leave me for other people.
Never have I ever been kicked out of a friend group.
Never have I ever wanted to fuck one of my friends.
Never have I ever been friendless.
- Never have I ever failed a test.
Never have I ever cut class.
- Never have I ever had to eat alone.
- Never have I ever failed a course.
- Never have I ever been suspended.
- Never have I ever received detention.
- Never have I ever dropped out of school.
Fucking hell. I sure didn’t expect this coming out of my room today. If you just got to know me, you’d know that’s the last thing that I ever want to do, especially with how my parents… How would you know? I said one thing to you. One! Because you’re obligatorily coming out of your room to join society, which I respect. You’re projecting onto me an image I’ve done nothing to des-.
You judged me on a first glance. A handful of sentences… Does it make you feel better? Hurting me when you know nothing about me? I don’t know anything about you either… but I don’t assume to. I wish I did. I wish I knew who hurt you or tricked you into hurting so much it still resonates with your interactions with others… but I would still like to get to know you, if you’d let me? And maybe prove to you that your assumptions about me aren’t all correct.
Question number one: what do your parents have anything to do with this? I don’t particularly care what your home situation is. If you want to sit down and compare home lives with me, complain about how mummy and daddy spent the wrong money on your fashionable shoes this year then you can do that somewhere else. I can promise you, fully, that I’ve got my own shite going on. I don’t need your damage, I don’t want your damage. Keep it to yourself. Two, do you not remember that we’ve spoken before? I’ve got the unfortunate memory of an elephant, and you’re sounding exactly the same way this time as you did last time. The moment someone speaks words unpleasant to your precious ears you change your tune, grow offended and begin attacking the person who spoke the way you deem unpleasurable. Check your bloody high brow privelage, princess.
Last of all, and certainly not least, do not talk to me like you give any iota of a shite about my presence in this school. You’re right — you do not know me, you likely never will know me. If you keep going on the way you are, we’re never going to be friends or any form of the word. Before you exclaim oh, this is an impossible feat, you should console with your classmates who’ve made the steps towards being genuine individuals. Or are they invisible to you as well, without their rich comparisons and barbie doll nature?
Let me kindly remind you and yours of one true bloody fact, before you start making up lovely names for me: Love, I am a prick. I was always a prick. I was a prick before I met you, I was a prick before I came here, and I was a bloody prick before I was diagnosed with this beautiful power. I didn’t become this way, I wasn’t turned this way. I was always this way and try as much as you may to make me your next project, I will not change. Got it? Crystal.